I've been stressing about starting to pay back Student Loans officially with much larger chunks of money than I've been unofficially sending them over the course of the past couple of years. I've been home since Spring, working on my thesis but feeling guilty about not working a real, paying job. Yesterday I got a phone call saying I'd gotten a part-time job and could I come in and fill out paperwork? I hastily threw on some nicer clothes, slathered a bit of makeup on and grabbed my purse only to pull out ballet slippers instead of car keys! Hahaha!
This morning I got dressed, did my hair and face and stood in front of the bathroom mirror to make sure I looked presentable. I took a step back and my pumps squeaked against the bathtub. I lost my balance and very nearly fell backward into the tub, arms and legs akimbo, taking the shower curtain down with me! Luckily, I caught myself by throwing my arms out and catching a wall. Wouldn't that have been a crazy start to my workday?
I'm not terribly nervous about the job itself - I've done this type of work before for different companies - but I still have a few new-job jitters. Y'know what I mean? The "What if I don't know how to do something simple?" scenarios running through my head are a little off-putting but I've had new jobs before and am not too concerned about screwing up irrevocably. My emotions are running in circles - Nervous and jittery to calm and relaxed back to nervous and jittery.
I hate the waiting. I'm to start at 1pm and the clock just struck 12. I'm dressed and ready to go. Now what?
So here I am, emotionally pacing back and forth, waiting to just GO and not have to worry anymore about the unknown.
I hate this kind of waiting. When I'm ready to go, I'm ready to GO. D'you think they'd mind if I showed up a half-hour early?
Am I gonna look out of place in a skirt and heels?
Will I fall flat on my face just walking in the door? Possibly, but it'll be a graceful face-plant, darn-it!
Well, here I go...